J-emine's reflexionando

This post is dedicated to all those hot-tempered, angsty, neurotically-challenged (occasionally) and huge- hearted souls in my life.

I’m always up for admitting that patience isn’t my greatest virtue, my quick-temper and mouth has landed me in enough troubles over the years, and my inability to deal with other’s angst or anxiety tends to bring out the least nicest of a generally, nice me (Ok, I admit my own lack of grasp with anxiety at times doesn’t help).

However, over the years I’ve learnt that we tend to manifest the reactions of others, and as cliche as it maybe, yes – when you point your finger at someone the other four is giving you and your actions a good reminder, if you are willing to pick up the cue. And, once you can set your ego aside and tell yourself that – let’s re-regulate our perception towards the situation or character(s) involve, in it’s own ways – thing do turn for the better. Somewhat.

Nonetheless, it takes A WHOLE shit-load of practice. Tell me who, literally, has the patience-tolerance whatchamacallit to re-regulate/think through their emotions, when the other party is shouting his/her lungs out, demonstrating the maximum level of human idiocy, or basically threatening every ounce of cells in your to body to burst…not many, I must say. Unless you got some really good ear plugs and shades on, and if you don’t – here’s some tips, well it works for me at least:

• Let the person rant. when you keep really quiet (especially for  chatterbox like me) they tend to slow down, because for once you aren’t mirroring or giving attention to their rants
• Speak very very slowly (as if they are are a 5 year old) – it drives them crazy. And that usually gives me the opportunity to say – well, can you try to stop screaming (elongate ‘sc-re-am-innngggg’/ drives them even crazier)
• Be a bigger person and walk away
• Throw something at them – well, depends on who – this doesn’t go down well in the sake of ‘respecting your elders’, so I would play this card slightly different. On contrary, it works – gets them to snap out of their current zone, but try not to throw something that will likely involve a 911 call or quick zip to get the first-aid box
• Bring them some food, again – this depends on who’s the other party
• ……..

Above all, the best take-home for me is to never let their issue be yours or your problem. Never take it personally, as hard as it may sounds when it’s a dear one, but find time thereafter to talk through the issue on how uncomfortable or hurt you were from their outburst.

Be honest with them, but be even more honest and true to your own feelings – as it will subconsciously regulate the whole emotional interplay of such events, and let you react with the minimum level of human idiocy, when really all you want is to rip them apart 🙂